Got A Phone Message In Error

Had an interesting thing happen to me today and wanted to add it on my blog.  Got a message on my phone saying, “You should be ashamed won’t let me see my kids but take them to see others.” Then “I’m going to tell everything I know! Tomorrow.” Then “I will get my kids might take a couple months but I will and you all won’t see them much even then it will me on my time.”

I messaged back, “Sorry about your kids but you have the wrong number. I’m a 70 year old woman.

Them: This isn’t D****** W*****

Me: Is she in South Dakota?

Them: No I am so sorry lol our area code is 606

Them: Long story my husband and I got in a domestic fight social service came in granted temporary custody to my mother in law and now they say I ve let my kids around it and are giving me crap and I am fighting this! But I thought you may wanna know lol I would be curious

Me: I believe everything happens for a reason. You accidentally messaging me is one. Read my blog relationshipproblemshelp.org the first blog “A Challenging Relationship or Marriage”. Read the whole thing. If you try and follow the last part it can totally change your life and help you deal with people like you messaged about. Good luck.

Her: Thank you so much! And yes everything does happen for a reason.

Me: Had someone here in town who unjustly lost her child, talked to her about what is on my blog. Now she has her child back and has another one and is going to law school. It really does work. Do don’t be discouraged.

Me: Try not to yell at or threaten your mother-in-law just keep reminding her that your children need you.

Her: Thank you so much I am going through very trying time. Everything does happen for a reason and your words have helped me actually I was crying my eyes out and now I have motivation to not give up. Thanks for replying it means a lot.

Her: Everything does happen for a reason.

Me: Good, remember it’s not about you. Its about the kids missing you and that you be worthy of them. Do whatever is necessary to be that person.

So, how do you become that person?

Even though she didn’t answer back, the important question here is, “How?”.

First, you need to overcome the hurt, anger and resentment. (If you haven’t read my blog “A Challenging Relationship or Marriage” you should read it now.)

People really should never judge other people. If you haven’t “walked in their shoes” (lived their life) then you have no way of knowing why they act the way they do. If they are calling you names like, “you’re a bad person” or a “bad mother, father, wife or husband” or “a horrible person” or anything else they may say to put you down. It really isn’t about you it is about the person who is saying these things, it is a reflection of the life they have lived. There is no reason why you should accept the anger they are throwing out at you, and you don’t need to defend yourself because it really isn’t about you.

So, while the other person is trying to make you angry and get a reaction out of you, you should just keep telling yourself in your mind, “It’s not about me and I can’t let myself start feeling self-pity”, “I’m not going to wallow in self-pity”, “I’m not going to wallow in self-pity”. But be careful, there are some people who are physically abusive that get more violent when you don’t react, so you must either get out of the relationship or change yourself gradually.

How do I know these things? Because I have lived it. Now I can see how he used words and actions to manipulate me. He wanted to control me. It wasn’t anything to do about me it was his obsession to rule over me.

Becoming Worthy

Next, if you are not worthy of your children you need to become worthy. While you are working on overcoming the hurt, anger and resentment you need to surround yourself with good people. If you follow the information in the first half of “Tips Regarding Relationships” look for people that are giving. Some may seem giving but it is just an act. If you don’t have family or friends who fit the bill, try to become friends with people at work.

If you don’t work then find a job. It is important to be around other people to help you see that your problems aren’t unsurmountable and live around “normal” people even if it is just a few hours a week. If you don’t know how to get a job contact the nearest “The Salvation Army” (the church not the store) they have all kinds of services to help with clothes, skill training and finding a job.

My last suggestion for surrounding yourself with good people is to find a church to go to. Go to a few different ones until you feel comfortable at one. The Salvation Army is a church so if you feel uncomfortable going to other churches, I have found that they don’t judge, it doesn’t matter what you wear or how you look. Also, it is a wonderful place to go to for your children with their fun programs. I was raised in The Salvation Army church and know what a help they can be.

Lastly, if you have a physical reason why you can’t fulfill your obligations maybe I can help with my website http://howtostopbackpain.org/ it is about a lot more than just back pain.